Dinner Time Without Losing Your Sanity

Most nights, in high school, my mom and I had a dinner time ritual. About 5 p.m. she would come into my room, sit on my bed and ask, "what should we have for dinner". The majority of these nights I gave her some ideas (sometimes I even cooked!).  While my mom occasionally cooked elaborate meals, most of the time we ended up eating tacos, spaghetti or we got take out! She hated dinner time because she couldn't stand figuring out what to make.

So many people out there struggle with what to make for dinner. The brutal aspect of the situation is that it is something reoccurs EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Dinner time never lets up. 

I found myself desperate to taper this daily stressor. About 4 months before I was married I collected all the recipes I could. My cooking skills got put to good use and I tried out all these recipes. The ones that tasted good went into a large green binder; the ones that tasted horrible were chunked into the trash. There were stacks of cookbooks full of recipes that still needed to be sampled!

So far, I have found myself to be fairly stress free when it comes to dinner time. Here are some of the things I do:

Make a Weekly Plan

While I am not ambitious enough to take on month long freezer meal cooking, I do plan out our dinner menu each week. I write out a detailed grocery list and at the start of the week. I go shopping for the items on the list and try my best not to stray from it. This helps me stay healthy and within a budget too!

Don't Be Overly Ambitious
I don't try to cook a gourmet meal every night. Generally I make 1 or 2 elaborate meals a week and the rest are moderate to easy meals. I plan for weeks that I know will be crazy. For example it helps me a lot to go with simple recipes like quesadillas or spaghetti and canned sauce during midterms.

Mix it Up, But Not Too Much
This tip is a little different than the one above. When I cook a new meal I often feel uncertain about what I am doing. Generally the recipe takes a little longer than it should. It becomes extremely overwhelming to cook many meals that I have never made before all in the same week. When I first started on my dinner time recipe-hunt I did this: a new recipe everyday. Now that I am in the swing of real married/mommy life I would collapse from exhaustion if I did that. I find it enjoyable to find new recipes and even create some, but I limit it to one recipe a week. This keeps me feeling creative, but still sane!

Get Input From Others
A lot of the stress families experience surrounding dinner time comes from family members not agreeing about what they like. It makes wives and mothers feel beaten down if they spend the afternoon in the kitchen cooking only to be told that no one in the family likes the dinner. Sometimes you try new recipes and there is no avoiding how horrible they taste. Other times, different people just have different preferences. I try to listen to my husband when he tells me what he likes and what he doesn't like. I also try to cook meals that I know my daughter will eat. No one can be happy with every meal, every night. Keeping people's (including yourself) preferences in mind helps your family stay happy with dinner time over all!

Eat Out Once a Week/ Enlist Others
I love cooking, really I do. But I loathe cleaning up the kitchen afterwards. If I had to clean up the kitchen every single night, I think I would completely lose it! I only have 3 plates to clear! My husband knows this about me and he helps often helps me clean up. On weekends he also helps by preparing lunch or dinner. It is so wonderful to get this break. If you start to feel overwhelmed with dinner, try to get the rest of your family onboard. It really can do wonders for you and they can learn a new skill!

 We also eat out once a week. We have a small family, but also small budget. My husband and I decided that the change of scenery and the lack of dishes is worth the extra money. We mostly like to spend the money we do have on experiences and making memories, rather than on things. Eating out definitely qualifies as a fun experience! As our family grows we know we may have to limit ourselves to eating out only once every 2 weeks or a month.

Is meal planning one of the major stressors in your life? What do you do to make your dinner time less stressful?
I'm linking up with We Are That Family today!

A Three Year Adventure

This Sunday my little girl is turning 3! I think I am in complete shock that she is that old. Looking back at the past 3 years, I have to laugh at myself. Especially in the first year of her life. I feel like I finally have gotten in the groove of being a mom. Ha! A little late, I know!

I think, I was a little on the crazy side for a while. For the first few months, she didn't really sleep. (You know, like most babies) But nothing really prepared me for what life with no sleep was like. I remember rocking a screaming baby (who refused to nurse) at 3 am, with head phones in my ears. Oh and did I mention I was singing Brittney Spears', "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" to her? Not exactly the most award winning lullaby, but it sure did calm her down :)

Then there were the days where we would go to Mass and she would cry through most of it. We would get in the car and I would be completely convinced that the entire congregation heard her and thought I was the worlds worst mother. A little sleep later, it occurs to me that most people know that babies cry.

I think I had the most fun when she would lay down for her tummy time and I would turn on "head, shoulders, knees and toes" and do all the motions for her (and maybe sing a little). She wouldn't be able to keep herself up on her arms she was laughing so hard.

My least favorite memory of her first 3 years is the day she said her first sentence. Now let me explain... We had just moved into our apartment, that we live in now. Prior to that we had been living with my parents. We had been there about three days and every time we drove up to the apartment complex she would burst into tears. Then one day we were in the car and it was time to get out, so I could get dinner started. She stared me straight in the eyes and screamed "No". So calmly told her again that it was time to get out of the car. Tears streamed down her face, she gave me the meanest look she could and she said, "New house yucky"!

I love these new preschool years. She talks to me now. She has ideas about how to do things. She really loves when things match. Like the time she came to the realization that her "yellow hair" matched her "yellow pee pees in the potty". Those are the kinds of things I usually think of, when I think of matching...

 She tells me she loves me, and means it. When she isn't in the mood to talk she simple states, "I'm just grumpy, no want to talk right now". I love her brutal honesty. Now when she is getting ready to go to sleep she whispers in my ear, "rub my back", and of course I do.

I can't wait to celebrate with her and see what the next 3 years have to offer!

Sirach and Duties Towards God

Recently I have began reading the book of The Wisdom of Sirach. I think it is a book in the Bible that often is glossed over by many Christians, perhaps because it is not accepted by Protestant faiths. Now in the Catholic Church it has been given the title Ecclesiasticus because the book itself has been used extensively to teach moral codes and faith to catechumens and the faithful.

The entire 2nd chapter is dedicated to teaching people how to be faithful to God. It spells out exactly what are duties are, and what will happen if we do or don't fulfill those duties. I think it is a great starting point for anyone who is just beginning their faith journey.

We are told to:

"Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold is tested, and worth men in the crucible of humiliation." Sirach 2: 4-5

I think this is perhaps one of the most difficult lessons to learn. There are times when people of faith turn away from God. I think the thought is often, if God existed, then He wouldn't let this happen to me... So he must not exist. Or to a lesser extent: "God, why are you letting this happen!!" But we are told to be patient. We need to trust in what God has in store for us. Then we are told:

"For in fire gold is tested" 

Gold one of the most precious metals, is tested in fire... which is something that can destroy. But fire doesn't destroy gold, it makes it stronger.

We are told that it works the same way for us. Our "crushing misfortune" really makes us stronger. We can use it to develop patience, tolerance, empathy, and a stronger faith. If we trust God in times of misfortune, we will be rewarded. We are told to:

"Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great". Sirach 2: 3

I think, looking back on the past few years I have seen this to be true in my own life. Getting married, having a child, moving away to a place where I know no one, starting grad school... they all have had their trials. There have been times where I have found myself frustrated with God. But I find that I have become a much more patient, accepting and empathetic person through all of this.