Year of Faith Series: Days in the Chapel

I started the Year of Faith Series as an attempt to further explore my faith and the teachings of the Catholic Church. Through this series I will dive deeper into specific faith filled moments in my life, teachings of the Church, and new ways to strengthen my faith. I'd love for you to join me in this journey throughout the Year of Faith, declared by Pope Benedict XVI. If you are interested in doing a guest post in the series about your faith journey please email me @coffeewithmamaleigh@gmail.com.

Shortly before we moved about a month ago, strangely, I found myself with some time to myself before I needed to pick my daughter up from preschool. I decided to head across the street to our Church. After circling the Church, trying every door, I realized that only one door to the entire building was open.

I made my way inside and just sat there for a while. I love going into Churches or chapels when they are empty, I always have.

Back in high school, when I coached volleyball for the local Catholic middle school I used to spend time in the chapel every day after practice. I did it out of habit, not because I was this devout Catholic. In fact at the time I was really struggling with my faith. I spent about 30 minutes every day in the chapel  with a note pad writing out plays and line ups for the girls. I'm sure that isn't exactly what God had in mind...

There is something about just showing up that God honors though. He knew I was coming to him for help, even though I never asked. He's smart like that.

It reminds me of when my mom would ask me to clean my room when I was younger. Reluctantly I always agreed to do it. I would tell her, "Ok, I'll do it. I won't like it though". Despite my attitude, just by going through the motions, my room eventually became clean.

I think God works the same way. I went to the chapel. I went through the motions. I told God, "I'll show up, but I'm not going to like it". But my heart became clean anyway. He worked in me, and made me believe. God dissipated my doubts. He made me trust in him and his timing. In the tiny chapel, alone, He gave me a sense of peace I didn't have before.

As I sat in the Church, kneeling before the Tabernacle, I remembered those days and thought about all the people in this world who could find a sense of peace and trust in God like I did, if only they'd show up.

As I left the chapel that day I felt myself wondering, "How do you convince people to just show up so God can work in them"?

The Holiday Marathon

As we were driving home last night from dinner, I noticed something I hadn't seen in quite a while. It was the twinkling of Christmas lights that the door to a bank was so beautifully donning. I sat in the car in slight disbelief, as Halloween just passed only a few days ago. I love the Christmas season, but perhaps it is still a little bit too early to decorate for Christmas. We haven't even had the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving yet! I say this, being a firm believer in decorating for Christmas much before Christmas.

I still remember the very first Thanksgiving my husband spent with my family. The day after we all had stuffed ourselves with turkey we sat around the living room talking. I stood up and announced that I wanted to put the (fake) Christmas tree up. I was looking for volunteers to help me out! My husband sat there, shocked. I think he was seriously offended that I would instigate decorating for Christmas so early. He didn't expect that kind of behavior from me. He insisted that decorating that early made Christmas commercial, and took away the real meaning of Christmas. He explained that his family put up the Christmas tree MAYBE one week before the holiday. I couldn't comprehend why someone would want to wait that long.

This is a conflict that often many Christians face. Does it take away from the meaning of Christmas to decorate for Christmas so early? I am convinced that the real answer is: it depends. If it gets a family in the mood to only talk about presents and thinks about all the things they hope to receive Christmas morning, then yes it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas. But I still maintain that decorating (even a month) early can be a good thing.

After thinking about this dilemma a little too long, I have come to decide that decorating early can help a person prepare for baby Jesus to come and it can help a person become enthusiastic about spreading the meaning of Jesus' love. I know it gets me in the spirit of giving!

I once read this scenario:

If a you were to receive news that the king and queen of England were coming to stay in your house, you wouldn't wait until the last minute to scramble together some resemblance of hospitality. Most people would begin planning a menu, cleaning the house and making sure everything looked its best. There is no reason that the coming of Jesus, the greatest King of all time, needs to be any different. 

Now, I try to taper my excitement for Christmas at least until the first of December. Then I break out the advent wreath and petition my husband to agree to go get a tree. I make lists of carefully chosen items that I want to purchase as gifts for the ones I love. My mind often wanders to ways I can help others out. My excitement over flows when I get to fill my daughter's shoes with goodies on St. Nicholas Day. This year I am entertaining the idea of a Jesse tree. Mentally and spiritually I prepare myself for this amazing story that is the birth of God! And I also find the legend of Santa a fun one.

Both my husband and I now are better able to see that different people do things differently, and neither way is necessarily wrong. I like to show my enthusiasm for the birth of Jesus outwardly with decorations, as it helps me prepare. Still others find it easier to mentally and spiritually prepare for Christmas with out the distraction of decorations.

When does your family begin decorating for Christmas? How do you help keep your focus on the true meaning of Christmas?

What's a Mama to Do?

I had planned to write about the Year of Faith today. But, my life is crazy and I am in the middle of midterms. So that post is still in progress. Instead I have decided to write about the balance of work (aka grad school) and being a mom. I have yet to find that balance.

Today I picked my daughter up from extended day at school and she was doing wonderful. She was practicing her paper cutting skills, while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. We were chatting about our days, waiting for my husband to get home from work. I was simply in motherhood bliss.

I don't even remember what was said, but she burst into tears. Calmly, I asked my daughter what was wrong. She told me, "You picked me up too late. I was at school a long time". "I don't want to be at school that long, it makes me tired. And I am ready for it to be Saturday so we can play more".

My heart broke. I told her I was so sorry that she was tired, and that I knew it was hard to be at school so late. She didn't understand. Then I told her that I also had to go to school. But I knew that wasn't true.

I didn't HAVE to go to school. I CHOSE to go to school. I did what I thought was best for my family in the long run. And I still maintain that I think I made the right choice for my family. I think this is the same choice a lot of women make. Many women choose to go to work part or full time. While some of these women really need the positions for their families to survive, that isn't true for all of them.

Since beginning this process, I have had the same plan. I want to just make it through school, then as soon as I get out, I want to work part time. As soon as we have more children, I want to work even less.

My thought behind it was that it will give us a little extra money. When I did stay home with her, I occasionally felt a little cooped up in the house (although that didn't happen that often). But the most important reason I chose to go to OT school was because I felt like I wanted to help people. Although I know and believe that my primary focus should and will be my family, I wanted to reach out to others in a unique way. A way that I believe is truly powerful.

It's amazing though, that everyone at school seems to think that my life is completely balanced. They often are amazed that I cook for my family and that I spend as much time with them as I do. Ha! Maybe they haven't seen the 6 loads of laundry sitting in a pile at the bottom of my closet still waiting to be done ( I wish I was kidding). I'll bet that many women out there share my same or similar secrets.

 So many women have made this balance work for them in a variety of unique ways. Many of these women blog for a living, work 1-2 days a week, work from home or work nights. Then there are some women who work full time positions. I have often heard from some of these women that working gives them an outlet and makes them a more present mother when they are home. I however have determined that the opposite is true for me.

I think balance can be achieved. I want to be a stay at home mom MOST of the time, and work a little. Time will tell if this dream can be achieved.

Linking up Here!

What about you all? Do you work a little, full time, or stay home? I'd love to know what works (and what doesn't work) for you and your family!

Marrying Young: Grad School and Mommy Style

You can check out my first ever guest post for Mandi over at Catholic Newlywed! I am so excited to share it with all of you.  I wrote about my experience marrying young, having a child young and going to grad school. Here is a little excerpt: 

"The first few months were blissful, but challenging. There were small arguments about things like where the dishes should go after a meal. Then there was the fact that he liked olives on his pizza, and I think they are possibly the most disgusting food on the planet. "

If you are visiting my blog for the first time I am so glad your here! I encourage you to check out some of my favorite posts so far:  About Me,  Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, When To Buy Cheap, and When Not To, Sirach and Duties Towards God, and Wedding Rehearsal Ribbon Bouquet

I also love it if you would follow me!

Now I'm sending you back over to some of my favorite posts from Catholic Newlywed: Stay at Home vs. Working Mom, Mapping Your Love Story,  and Advice I Wish My Mom Gave Me Before I Got Married

Thanks for visiting! 

Biblical Wisdom for Personal Finance

I find money frustrating, and I always have. With money, comes greed. Yet it is impossible to live in civilized society without money. I spend probably a little too much time thinking about money, trying to make the best use of what we have. I have searched countlessly for advice on the topic of personal finance. Then I though, what better place to look then the Bible? Here is what it says about money: 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is life not more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important that they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your lifespan?"

-Matthew 6: 25-27

Wow! I couldn't think of a more powerful quote. While, it doesn't mention money specifically, it does bring up material possessions. It is so important that we put our trust in God, in everything. This applies to even our finances. God will provide for us, if we trust in Him. This can be so hard for me to do in my own life, because I always want to budget down to the cent. If we find ourselves with an unexpected situation like a flat tire, I find myself worrying the whole rest of the month about money. I need to remind myself that God says not to worry, and trust in Him. He will take care of us!

"Rely not on your wealth; say not: 'I have the power'."- Sirach 5:1

We again are reminded to trust in the Lord, and not in our wealth. Money gives us the illusion of power. But really, we have nothing without God. 

"Barter not a friend for money, nor a dear brother for the hold of Ophir."- Sirach 7:18

This is one of those quotes I wish I would have read long before I came across it. We shouldn't lend our family and friends money! This is hard for some people to hear, but it really is true. Lending family and friends money puts a barrier in between you and the other person. It can cause a lot of harm in your relationship. Now this doesn't mean that you shouldn't help out someone close to you who needs help. But maybe it means that you should help them out, without expecting return payment. 

"One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. A man's riches serve as ransom for his life, but the poor man heeds no rebuke." - Proverbs 13: 7-8

What does this mean? It means we should live within our means. We shouldn't buy a home we can't comfortably afford, we shouldn't max out credit cards to give others the false illusion that we have money. We end up tied to our belongings and they really can't and won't serve us. On the flip side, if we have been blessed with wealth, we shouldn't flaunt it. It might be tempting to spend it all on really nice things, but we are told not to. We will find a much greater wealth in giving to others and finding joy in people and Christ, rather than stuff. 

"Behold, the wages you withheld from the workers who harvested your fields are crying aloud, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts."- James 5:4

We should be generous with the money we do have! If we go out to eat and the waiter serves us well, we should tip them well. If we have a hard working babysitter that lovingly watches our children, we should pay them well. If we are in a position of management we should pay our employees well. 

What are some of the biggest lessons you have learned in your own life about personal finance?

The Power of Doing

I came to an astounding realization today while driving home from school. Really. I think I have figured out the solution to 99% of life's problems. It is surprisingly simple, so simple, that no one thinks to do it.

Let me give you a little background on myself and my personality. Generally speaking I love to dream about the "what ifs" in the world and in my life. All the time I see people and I am so amazed my their skills and their perseverance, and I strive to act in a similar way.

I often think, wow their house is so neat and tidy, one day I would love to be an OT, wouldn't it be so cool to have a blog... etc. I spend a lot of time figuring out how to do these things. For example, I have checked out countless books on cleaning, googled housekeeping tips an embarrassing number of times, and guess what? None of this got my home clean.

The only thing that got my home clean, was well, cleaning it! Shocking I know!

I realized that I can't wish my dreams into existence, in fact, I can't even pray my dreams into existence. It's not God's job to make magic happen for me, while I just sit around and be lazy. I can pray for persistence, patience and a strong work ethic. I can ask God to guide me through what I have to do and what I should do, but in the end I have to actually do it.

I have to clean, to make my house clean. I have to finish OT school, to become and OT. I have to write in a blog, to have a blog.

If only it was as simple as it sounds on paper.

It's Yours, Not Mine

Sometimes I lay awake at night worrying about what happened that day, and what will happen the next day, and the next.

I will hope that my husband will feel fulfilled in his work. I will hope that my daughter will start to listen a little better. I will think about how I could and should be doing more to care for my house, my family and my school work. I will think about the 2 loads of laundry that I didn't get to... Then, if I am lucky, my mind can be directed towards Blessed John XXIII's prayer:

"It's your church, Lord, I'm going to bed"

It's a simple prayer that puts everything into perspective. I alter the prayer to say:

"It's your family, Lord, I'm going to bed"

My daughter, is really God's daughter. My husband, is also God's child. Everything I do, everything I have, is not really mine to take ownership of. It is all God's. So since it is God's, He will take care of it. So, I need not worry.

Sirach and Duties Towards God

Recently I have began reading the book of The Wisdom of Sirach. I think it is a book in the Bible that often is glossed over by many Christians, perhaps because it is not accepted by Protestant faiths. Now in the Catholic Church it has been given the title Ecclesiasticus because the book itself has been used extensively to teach moral codes and faith to catechumens and the faithful.

The entire 2nd chapter is dedicated to teaching people how to be faithful to God. It spells out exactly what are duties are, and what will happen if we do or don't fulfill those duties. I think it is a great starting point for anyone who is just beginning their faith journey.

We are told to:

"Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient; For in fire gold is tested, and worth men in the crucible of humiliation." Sirach 2: 4-5

I think this is perhaps one of the most difficult lessons to learn. There are times when people of faith turn away from God. I think the thought is often, if God existed, then He wouldn't let this happen to me... So he must not exist. Or to a lesser extent: "God, why are you letting this happen!!" But we are told to be patient. We need to trust in what God has in store for us. Then we are told:

"For in fire gold is tested" 

Gold one of the most precious metals, is tested in fire... which is something that can destroy. But fire doesn't destroy gold, it makes it stronger.

We are told that it works the same way for us. Our "crushing misfortune" really makes us stronger. We can use it to develop patience, tolerance, empathy, and a stronger faith. If we trust God in times of misfortune, we will be rewarded. We are told to:

"Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great". Sirach 2: 3

I think, looking back on the past few years I have seen this to be true in my own life. Getting married, having a child, moving away to a place where I know no one, starting grad school... they all have had their trials. There have been times where I have found myself frustrated with God. But I find that I have become a much more patient, accepting and empathetic person through all of this.

Thin Moments and Places

A book I am reading, started talking about something that interested me, called a thin place. A “thin place” is traditionally a belief held by Celtic Christians. In short, a it is a place somewhere in the world where a person is closer to God then he or she ordinarily is. It is a special place where a person can truly feel God’s presence. This group of Celtic Christians believe that at any given time a person is usually 3 feet away from God, but when in a thin place a person is even closer!

The idea is intriguing to me, and to some extent I have found it to be true (although I may not believe the 3 ft rule). There are places that I have been, that I have found myself feeling closer to God than usual. Mostly my experience has been somewhere in nature like on a hike (only been on like 2 in my whole life) or at the beach.

My thought is that, more than “thin places” I have had “thin moments”. I will say I am not sure if there is any specific Celtic Christian teaching on thin moments though, but maybe there is! I think a thin moment is a time in your life when you can feel God there and you may not know why.  Here are some of my “thin moments:"

• When my daughter was born
• When I got married
• When I am at the beach
• When I am in Adoration

I realized I have been taught about thin moments my whole life. Back in kindergarden my teacher once told me a secret. I'll let you in on the secret too:

"When you get goosebumps and you are not cold, and you look around and cannot see, hear or feel anything, then it's the Holy Spirit next to you giving you a hug".

Guess what? I have believed it ever since. Whenever I notice I get goosebumps for no reason at all, it always makes me smile and feel like God is watching over me.

Be Kind

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. - Plato

Yesterday I was stopped at a stop light, waiting patiently to turn left. Then the protected left hand arrow turned green. So I waited my customary 3 seconds and then entered the intersection. Only to swerve out of the way of a car that was going 60 mph, running a red light! The car just missed us. My heart was pounding, and one thousand 'what ifs' were running through my head. 

 I couldn't help but being extremely angry with that person who was so careless. Had we gotten hit at the angle we were driving, my daughter in the back seat surely would have gotten hurt badly. I wanted to yell at them. But the reality was, everyone was safe. No one was hurt. 

Now my thought goes to Plato's quote. I don't know what that person was racing towards. Maybe they just found out someone they knew was in the hospital. Or maybe it was a girl who was upset because her boyfriend broke up with her that she was not paying attention to the light. 

Then I reflect on a time I had been a rude, careless person. 

In high school I finally had my first job, and since I turned 16 I was finally able to be the primary on my own bank account. We spent 3 hours filling out the paperwork the week before to be sure that I had access. Then one day I went into the bank, to take some money out of my account (I didn't yet have a checking), only to be told I did not have permission because I was not a primary on the account. 

I lost it, and yelled at the teller! I told said horrible things to her that I am too embarrassed to write about now. That morning I had gotten in a fight with my mom, because I had bombed a test. The teller didn't know that though. All she could see was that I was a crazy girl screaming at her about something that she did not have control over. 

I went back to the bank 3 days later, and apologized to that same teller. 

I think the point of the story is that, you should always try to give people the benefit of the doubt for poor behavior. Rudeness can sometimes come from a lifetime of being treated poorly, etc. 

Everyone, is always fighting a harder battle in some way or another. This helps me to remember to always act respectful when someone treats me badly.