I had planned to write about the Year of Faith today. But,
my life is crazy and I am in the middle of midterms. So that post is still in progress. Instead I have decided to write about the balance of work (aka grad school) and being a mom. I have yet to find that balance.
Today I picked my daughter up from extended day at school and she was doing wonderful. She was practicing her paper cutting skills, while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. We were chatting about our days, waiting for my husband to get home from work. I was simply in motherhood bliss.
I don't even remember what was said, but she burst into tears. Calmly, I asked my daughter what was wrong. She told me, "You picked me up too late. I was at school a long time". "I don't want to be at school that long, it makes me tired. And I am ready for it to be Saturday so we can play more".
My heart broke. I told her I was so sorry that she was tired, and that I knew it was hard to be at school so late. She didn't understand. Then I told her that I also had to go to school. But I knew that wasn't true.
I didn't HAVE to go to school. I CHOSE to go to school. I did what I thought was best for my family in the long run. And I still maintain that I think I made the right choice for my family. I think this is the same choice a lot of women make. Many women choose to go to work part or full time. While some of these women really need the positions for their families to survive, that isn't true for all of them.
Since beginning this process, I have had the same plan. I want to just make it through school, then as soon as I get out, I want to work part time. As soon as we have more children, I want to work even less.
My thought behind it was that it will give us a little extra money. When I did stay home with her, I occasionally felt a little cooped up in the house (although that didn't happen that often). But the most important reason I chose to go to OT school was because I felt like I wanted to help people. Although I know and believe that my primary focus should and will be my family, I wanted to reach out to others in a unique way. A way that I believe is truly powerful.
It's amazing though, that everyone at school seems to think that my life is completely balanced. They often are amazed that I cook for my family and that I spend as much time with them as I do. Ha! Maybe they haven't seen the 6 loads of laundry sitting in a pile at the bottom of my closet still waiting to be done ( I wish I was kidding). I'll bet that many women out there share my same or similar secrets.
So many women have made this balance work for them in a variety of unique ways. Many of these women blog for a living, work 1-2 days a week, work from home or work nights. Then there are some women who work full time positions. I have often heard from some of these women that working gives them an outlet and makes them a more present mother when they are home. I however have determined that the opposite is true for me.
I think balance can be achieved. I want to be a stay at home mom MOST of the time, and work a little. Time will tell if this dream can be achieved.
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What about you all? Do you work a little, full time, or stay home? I'd love to know what works (and what doesn't work) for you and your family!
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