One of the Lucky Ones

This week, I felt like the world was trying to get my attention. Most likely not true, perhaps a slightly self-centered thought. But never the less, it couldn't be denied.

The Dynamic Catholic sent me this "mustard seed" to my inbox this morning:

"If things are in a mess, accept that things are in a mess. Everything doesn't have to be worked out right now."

In my life nothing ever stands still. In the span of about 4 years, I have gotten married, had a child, graduated college, moved 3 times, started grad school, I am about to move again and embark on the new journey of working with patients. My life isn't a mess, but it isn't tidy either. It is busy and ever-changing.

The thing about it is, that I think know that this is typical of the 20's and possibly the 30's. All my friends are busy. Their lives are changing quickly. Starting new jobs, moving to new places, meeting new people. No one of them feels certain about their role in life, and just when they finally begin to feel settled, life brings on a new adventure. My life, with the addition of marriage and motherhood, is no different.

It keeps you on your toes, it's exciting, invigorating, and exhausting all at the same time. You are new at everything, always. You need to find people to help you learn how to get life running more smoothly, because you haven't been doing it on your own for that long. Asking for help or guidance is a humbling experience. You realize that you don't know all the answers, and wonder if you know any of them.

The way people scatter these days makes the task increasingly difficult. The people you have leaned on and got encouragement from prior to this are often are scattered around the globe. So you need to find new friends. You are forced to make your own way.

Anne from Modern Mrs. Darcy was kind enough to send her readers some of the notes from her talk at a blogging conference. She wrote about precisely this topic: Making the most of you 20's and 30's.

She talks about the messy and winding road that encompasses these 2 decades (mostly your 20's). She tells us (20-somethingers) we should explore relationships, our baggage and our faith. We should also be sure to find mentors. She doesn't fail to mention that we can impact the world in our own way. All of this uncertainty helps us to grow, even if sometimes we feel lost.

The funny thing is that for generations these years have been filled with uncertainty for everyone. Contrary to popular belief, this is not unique of modern culture. It is just a stage of life. If you don't go through it, you can't and won't grow.

When my dad was 23, he decided he didn't want to be an accountant anymore. He quit his job, and worked as a cook at a restaurant for minimum wage. My mom probably thought he was completely nuts, but married him anyway. There was no stability in that.

When my grandmother was 21 she got married to my grandfather. They had a baby within a year, and moved in with her parents to save money (Ah that sounds familiar). Now here's the curve ball to this story. My grandmother and her family were Polish, and my grandfather was German. Let me remind you that this occurred during a time when WWII was still pretty fresh in everyone's memory. I can only imagine what the tension in that living room was like.

I am one of the lucky ones because I am embarking on this journey now. A past of regret doesn't exist for me. Instead I am looking forward to a future full of possibilities, adventure and life. Although I feel excited about what is to come, I also feel grounded by the reality of bills and dinners on the table. I have been given this opportunity to grow now, and for that I am ever thankful. I am one of the lucky ones.

I am linking up with We are That Family and Gratituesday.

How are you making the most of your 20's and 30's? What have been your challenges and your exciting moments thus far? If you are past the 30-something years, looking back what did you do right through those years?

Be Kind

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. - Plato

Yesterday I was stopped at a stop light, waiting patiently to turn left. Then the protected left hand arrow turned green. So I waited my customary 3 seconds and then entered the intersection. Only to swerve out of the way of a car that was going 60 mph, running a red light! The car just missed us. My heart was pounding, and one thousand 'what ifs' were running through my head. 

 I couldn't help but being extremely angry with that person who was so careless. Had we gotten hit at the angle we were driving, my daughter in the back seat surely would have gotten hurt badly. I wanted to yell at them. But the reality was, everyone was safe. No one was hurt. 

Now my thought goes to Plato's quote. I don't know what that person was racing towards. Maybe they just found out someone they knew was in the hospital. Or maybe it was a girl who was upset because her boyfriend broke up with her that she was not paying attention to the light. 

Then I reflect on a time I had been a rude, careless person. 

In high school I finally had my first job, and since I turned 16 I was finally able to be the primary on my own bank account. We spent 3 hours filling out the paperwork the week before to be sure that I had access. Then one day I went into the bank, to take some money out of my account (I didn't yet have a checking), only to be told I did not have permission because I was not a primary on the account. 

I lost it, and yelled at the teller! I told said horrible things to her that I am too embarrassed to write about now. That morning I had gotten in a fight with my mom, because I had bombed a test. The teller didn't know that though. All she could see was that I was a crazy girl screaming at her about something that she did not have control over. 

I went back to the bank 3 days later, and apologized to that same teller. 

I think the point of the story is that, you should always try to give people the benefit of the doubt for poor behavior. Rudeness can sometimes come from a lifetime of being treated poorly, etc. 

Everyone, is always fighting a harder battle in some way or another. This helps me to remember to always act respectful when someone treats me badly.