Tuesday, October 23, 2012

One of the Lucky Ones

This week, I felt like the world was trying to get my attention. Most likely not true, perhaps a slightly self-centered thought. But never the less, it couldn't be denied.

The Dynamic Catholic sent me this "mustard seed" to my inbox this morning:

"If things are in a mess, accept that things are in a mess. Everything doesn't have to be worked out right now."

In my life nothing ever stands still. In the span of about 4 years, I have gotten married, had a child, graduated college, moved 3 times, started grad school, I am about to move again and embark on the new journey of working with patients. My life isn't a mess, but it isn't tidy either. It is busy and ever-changing.

The thing about it is, that I think know that this is typical of the 20's and possibly the 30's. All my friends are busy. Their lives are changing quickly. Starting new jobs, moving to new places, meeting new people. No one of them feels certain about their role in life, and just when they finally begin to feel settled, life brings on a new adventure. My life, with the addition of marriage and motherhood, is no different.

It keeps you on your toes, it's exciting, invigorating, and exhausting all at the same time. You are new at everything, always. You need to find people to help you learn how to get life running more smoothly, because you haven't been doing it on your own for that long. Asking for help or guidance is a humbling experience. You realize that you don't know all the answers, and wonder if you know any of them.

The way people scatter these days makes the task increasingly difficult. The people you have leaned on and got encouragement from prior to this are often are scattered around the globe. So you need to find new friends. You are forced to make your own way.

Anne from Modern Mrs. Darcy was kind enough to send her readers some of the notes from her talk at a blogging conference. She wrote about precisely this topic: Making the most of you 20's and 30's.

She talks about the messy and winding road that encompasses these 2 decades (mostly your 20's). She tells us (20-somethingers) we should explore relationships, our baggage and our faith. We should also be sure to find mentors. She doesn't fail to mention that we can impact the world in our own way. All of this uncertainty helps us to grow, even if sometimes we feel lost.

The funny thing is that for generations these years have been filled with uncertainty for everyone. Contrary to popular belief, this is not unique of modern culture. It is just a stage of life. If you don't go through it, you can't and won't grow.

When my dad was 23, he decided he didn't want to be an accountant anymore. He quit his job, and worked as a cook at a restaurant for minimum wage. My mom probably thought he was completely nuts, but married him anyway. There was no stability in that.

When my grandmother was 21 she got married to my grandfather. They had a baby within a year, and moved in with her parents to save money (Ah that sounds familiar). Now here's the curve ball to this story. My grandmother and her family were Polish, and my grandfather was German. Let me remind you that this occurred during a time when WWII was still pretty fresh in everyone's memory. I can only imagine what the tension in that living room was like.

I am one of the lucky ones because I am embarking on this journey now. A past of regret doesn't exist for me. Instead I am looking forward to a future full of possibilities, adventure and life. Although I feel excited about what is to come, I also feel grounded by the reality of bills and dinners on the table. I have been given this opportunity to grow now, and for that I am ever thankful. I am one of the lucky ones.

I am linking up with We are That Family and Gratituesday.

How are you making the most of your 20's and 30's? What have been your challenges and your exciting moments thus far? If you are past the 30-something years, looking back what did you do right through those years?


  1. This post is very insightful...I am in my early 40's and looking back on my 20's and 30's, which by the way passed so quickly, I am happy and content. I too got busy with life. I graduated college, married a month later and began a wonderful job as an elementary school teacher a month after that. I taught for 5 years while enjoying my home and my husband and our travels, all the while, waiting for God to
    bless us with our family. And in His time, He did! : )
    It was then that I feel the life I was called for began. What do I feel I did right during this period of my life? I became the best wife and mother I knew how. I lived my life in my home with my husband and my littles and played, and read stories, and cooked, and baked,and cleaned. It was a wonderful time of my life, which thankfully, is carrying over to my 40"s!
    I think it is different for each of us, but my advice to any young woman is simple...do what you want for you. Live the life that works for you and your husband, accepting that it may be different from other's. Not wrong, or weird, or simple, just different. And be happy. That's it! Happy Wednesday!

  2. Thanks Billie Jo for your perspective! I always love to hear all about how other people manage their lives:) I too think reading stories, baking and playing are just some of the best parts of life. I'm so glad your good times have carried over into your 40's!

  3. Very insightful post. I think sometimes I tend to pity myself for having such a busy life - moving three times in three years, etc. - but you're right to remind me that we are all going through a tumultuous time that's just a normal part of "growing up".