When You Give a 3 Year-Old a Sibling

When you give a 3 year-old a sibling.....

She will periodically stop what she is doing, cover her mouth, run straight for the bathroom and then spit into the toilet for at least 5 minutes

You will tell her that you are so sorry she is feeling sick, but that she should probably refrain from doing this when grandma watches her tomorrow (as you have not told grandma that your pregnant yet)

She will do it while grandma is watching her anyway.

After you spend an hour cooking dinner......

She will loudly state, "I cannot eat this! The smell makes me feel sick". Then she will run into the bathroom to spit into the toilet again.

Then you will decide that the time has come to tell your 3 year-old that there is a "baby in mommy's tummy".

She will smile and immediately lift up your shirt to check for "that baby in there".

Then she will ask you every question she can think of,  including:

• What does "that baby" do when you go to work? Does it work too?
• But how does "that baby" eat food?
• But how do toys get into your tummy for "that baby" to play with?
• Does "that baby" fall out of your tummy when you change into your jammies?

Then she will ask you who put the baby in your tummy.

You will tell her that you and daddy asked God to put a baby in your tummy. 

That will remind her that she needs to call daddy right away. 

She will take your cell phone, click onto favorites and hit the number to call your husband.

She will practically shout to your husband that she knows that Jesus put "that baby" into mommy's tummy!

When your husband comes home, you both will ask your 3 year-old if she thinks "that baby" will be a boy or a girl. 

She will tell you matter-of-factly that, "that baby will be a boy of course, because there is only 1 boy in our family".

Then you will decided that it's time to tell your daughter that at some point "that baby" will have a name. So you ask her what names she would like for the baby. 

These are the names she offers:

• Dada
• Skittles

You decide she may not be the best candidate for choosing the baby's name. 

All this talk about "that baby" will remind her that she wants to ask you if the baby can sleep in her room once it comes out. 

You tell her, that maybe eventually the baby can, but at first it will cry a lot.... so it will need to sleep in mama and dada's room. 

She will put her hands on her hips and say "Thats okay, I will just rock the baby back to sleep".

Then you will go to your husband's soccer game, where your daughter has a friend her age to play with.

You will over hear her telling her friend, "My mommy is so special because she has a baby in her tummy right now!"

You will cringe and hope that none of the other mom's/wives around have heard your daughter make this announcement, as you are still 1 week away from this news being public knowledge. 

Then you will smile because your 3 year-old is so darn excited to get a sibling!

How did you prepare your children for a new baby in the house? I'd love to hear all of your ideas!

The Day I Found Joy

Joy is Rising

We just moved into a new house over the weekend. The person who lived in the house prior to us subscribed to Good Housekeeping magazine. As I checked the mail for the first time, I was excited to find this delightful treat of a magazine- which I usually do not read.

The front cover caught my eye. One of the cover stories read: 7 Things ANYONE Can Do to Be Happy. As I flipped through the pages, I found the story. The quick read tells it's readers that to be happy one should:

• Appreciate significant others
• Be deliberately grateful for others
• Take a spiritual break (gives the example: deep breathing)
• Eat chocolate
• Set a bedtime for electronics
• Befriend themselves
• Get fitter in 40 seconds

None of these ideas are bad ideas. Relationships, exercise, gratefulness, deep breathing, and loving ourselves can bring us happiness. But when I look deeper into the meaning of happiness, I discover that happiness is not exactly what I am looking for. Happiness does not last over time. It comes and goes. 

My years in junior high and high school were spent searching for happiness. I tried to eat right, exercise, and look nice. None of which are bad things at all, but they didn't bring me lasting happiness. 

Near the end of my high school career I volunteered at an overnight camp for children with cerebral palsy. I was assigned a specific camper to take care of throughout the week. She was a 10 years old girl, who was significantly developmentally delayed, had little speech, was unable to walk, and needed help showering, toileting and eating. The girl was amazingly delightful to be around. She always smiled and thanked me for everything I did. 

The second to the last day of camp was the 4th of July. I pushed my camper outside to a large field where we had planned to watch the fireworks.  Many of the other volunteers where helping their campers get out of their chairs to sit down on the grass. I decided to do the same. The sky was starting to get dark around us and it was a little difficult to see. 

A few moments after I had helped her down to the grass and propped her into a sitting position, she started to scream. I had no idea what happened. The poor girl was unable to verbalize the problem to me. Then I noticed hundreds of ants crawling on and around her. I had unknowingly sat her in a fire ant pile! 

Immediately I called for the counselor, who was the head of my cabin. We picked her up and carried her to the nearby shower. I hopped in the shower with all my clothes on. She sat, naked, in my lap as myself and the other counselor washed away all the ants. 

 As the water soaked all my clothes I couldn't help but feel horrible! I couldn't believe all the pain I had caused this girl, when I was supposed to be taking care of her. Then she stopped crying and smiled at me. She said, "tate you, just a stake". She didn't care that it was my fault, she only cared that I helped make her feel better. She trusted me and knew I had not intended to cause her any pain.

Then she gave me an enormous hug and pooped on me. Myself and the other counselor laughed so hard we cried. Then I thought to myself, "This is joy". 

I am not sure at what point sitting in a shower fully clothed, soaking wet with another person's poop on me became one of the most joyful moments in my life, but it did. 

That day I discovered where true joy comes from. It doesn't come from looking great or eating better. The joy in my life comes from living beyond myself. It comes from living for others, which in turn is living for God.

It is true joy that can sustain a person, even in the messiest of times. With joy, the quest for happiness diminishes. We can find joy in each and every person we help. 

Where do you find joy in your everyday life?  

What's a Mama to Do?

I had planned to write about the Year of Faith today. But, my life is crazy and I am in the middle of midterms. So that post is still in progress. Instead I have decided to write about the balance of work (aka grad school) and being a mom. I have yet to find that balance.

Today I picked my daughter up from extended day at school and she was doing wonderful. She was practicing her paper cutting skills, while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. We were chatting about our days, waiting for my husband to get home from work. I was simply in motherhood bliss.

I don't even remember what was said, but she burst into tears. Calmly, I asked my daughter what was wrong. She told me, "You picked me up too late. I was at school a long time". "I don't want to be at school that long, it makes me tired. And I am ready for it to be Saturday so we can play more".

My heart broke. I told her I was so sorry that she was tired, and that I knew it was hard to be at school so late. She didn't understand. Then I told her that I also had to go to school. But I knew that wasn't true.

I didn't HAVE to go to school. I CHOSE to go to school. I did what I thought was best for my family in the long run. And I still maintain that I think I made the right choice for my family. I think this is the same choice a lot of women make. Many women choose to go to work part or full time. While some of these women really need the positions for their families to survive, that isn't true for all of them.

Since beginning this process, I have had the same plan. I want to just make it through school, then as soon as I get out, I want to work part time. As soon as we have more children, I want to work even less.

My thought behind it was that it will give us a little extra money. When I did stay home with her, I occasionally felt a little cooped up in the house (although that didn't happen that often). But the most important reason I chose to go to OT school was because I felt like I wanted to help people. Although I know and believe that my primary focus should and will be my family, I wanted to reach out to others in a unique way. A way that I believe is truly powerful.

It's amazing though, that everyone at school seems to think that my life is completely balanced. They often are amazed that I cook for my family and that I spend as much time with them as I do. Ha! Maybe they haven't seen the 6 loads of laundry sitting in a pile at the bottom of my closet still waiting to be done ( I wish I was kidding). I'll bet that many women out there share my same or similar secrets.

 So many women have made this balance work for them in a variety of unique ways. Many of these women blog for a living, work 1-2 days a week, work from home or work nights. Then there are some women who work full time positions. I have often heard from some of these women that working gives them an outlet and makes them a more present mother when they are home. I however have determined that the opposite is true for me.

I think balance can be achieved. I want to be a stay at home mom MOST of the time, and work a little. Time will tell if this dream can be achieved.

Linking up Here!

What about you all? Do you work a little, full time, or stay home? I'd love to know what works (and what doesn't work) for you and your family!

A Butterfly Birthday

Sunday my little one turned 3 and we opted not to do a birthday party. Instead she got butterfly wings and I made a butterfly cake.

And of course we opened presents.

I used yellow boxed cake mix. I feel a little bit like a failure for doing so. Unfortunately there has been little success in our household in finding a good cake recipe from scratch. Oil, butter, shortening have all been tried. It always comes out too dense and bread like.

I did make the frosting. My mother-in-law sent me this recipe which she said was on the back of her cocoa container. So I feel like it is fair game to share it with you!

• 3 C. powdered sugar
• 2/3 C. baking cocoa
• 1 stick butter
• 5 to 6 tbsp milk
• 1 tsp vanilla

It turned out delicious! Then I made some marshmallow fondant. It was easy to work with, but I was not crazy about the taste. It did get the 3 year old stamp of approval though, in case you were wondering.

My goal was really to create a cake that turned out like this, but I think I am fairly happy with my first attempt at fondant.

Today I'm linking up with Creative Blogger's Party Hop and We Are That Family.

Have any of you had great success with a from scratch cake recipe that turns out nice and airy? If so, I'd love for you to share it with me!

Marrying Young: Grad School and Mommy Style

You can check out my first ever guest post for Mandi over at Catholic Newlywed! I am so excited to share it with all of you.  I wrote about my experience marrying young, having a child young and going to grad school. Here is a little excerpt: 

"The first few months were blissful, but challenging. There were small arguments about things like where the dishes should go after a meal. Then there was the fact that he liked olives on his pizza, and I think they are possibly the most disgusting food on the planet. "

If you are visiting my blog for the first time I am so glad your here! I encourage you to check out some of my favorite posts so far:  About Me,  Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, When To Buy Cheap, and When Not To, Sirach and Duties Towards God, and Wedding Rehearsal Ribbon Bouquet

I also love it if you would follow me!

Now I'm sending you back over to some of my favorite posts from Catholic Newlywed: Stay at Home vs. Working Mom, Mapping Your Love Story,  and Advice I Wish My Mom Gave Me Before I Got Married

Thanks for visiting! 

A Three Year Adventure

This Sunday my little girl is turning 3! I think I am in complete shock that she is that old. Looking back at the past 3 years, I have to laugh at myself. Especially in the first year of her life. I feel like I finally have gotten in the groove of being a mom. Ha! A little late, I know!

I think, I was a little on the crazy side for a while. For the first few months, she didn't really sleep. (You know, like most babies) But nothing really prepared me for what life with no sleep was like. I remember rocking a screaming baby (who refused to nurse) at 3 am, with head phones in my ears. Oh and did I mention I was singing Brittney Spears', "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" to her? Not exactly the most award winning lullaby, but it sure did calm her down :)

Then there were the days where we would go to Mass and she would cry through most of it. We would get in the car and I would be completely convinced that the entire congregation heard her and thought I was the worlds worst mother. A little sleep later, it occurs to me that most people know that babies cry.

I think I had the most fun when she would lay down for her tummy time and I would turn on "head, shoulders, knees and toes" and do all the motions for her (and maybe sing a little). She wouldn't be able to keep herself up on her arms she was laughing so hard.

My least favorite memory of her first 3 years is the day she said her first sentence. Now let me explain... We had just moved into our apartment, that we live in now. Prior to that we had been living with my parents. We had been there about three days and every time we drove up to the apartment complex she would burst into tears. Then one day we were in the car and it was time to get out, so I could get dinner started. She stared me straight in the eyes and screamed "No". So calmly told her again that it was time to get out of the car. Tears streamed down her face, she gave me the meanest look she could and she said, "New house yucky"!

I love these new preschool years. She talks to me now. She has ideas about how to do things. She really loves when things match. Like the time she came to the realization that her "yellow hair" matched her "yellow pee pees in the potty". Those are the kinds of things I usually think of, when I think of matching...

 She tells me she loves me, and means it. When she isn't in the mood to talk she simple states, "I'm just grumpy, no want to talk right now". I love her brutal honesty. Now when she is getting ready to go to sleep she whispers in my ear, "rub my back", and of course I do.

I can't wait to celebrate with her and see what the next 3 years have to offer!

When to Buy Cheap, and When Not To

There comes a time when every family needs new furniture for one reason or another. Either they are just starting out, or they have hand-me-downs that are getting a little too gross. Well when we moved into our first apartment some items were given to us by family and friends ( like our couches) and others we had to purchase ourselves.

We made some great purchases, and some not so great ones. I, of course, would love to help prevent you from making some of the same mistakes we made. 

We didn't have very much money to put towards new furniture, but we needed to get the piles of clothes off the floor and into a dresser. We also needed a place to eat our meals that wasn't the floor of the living room. We didn't want to go into any debt doing it.

We bought the most awesome table and 6 chairs ever off of craigs list for $100. An older couple had decided they wanted the RV lifestyle, so they wanted to get rid of most of their belongings. They were moving out the next day, so we got a great deal! The table and chairs are solid wood and in great condition.

Then we decided to find a dresser. We went to IKEA. We hadn't heard much about their furniture, except that it was a pretty good deal and you had to put it together yourselves. We spent $250 on a red dresser, that looks really nice. But is by far one of the worst purchases I have ever made. The bottom of the individual dressers are made out of particle board, so they can hold almost no weight. In IKEAs defense, we also bought night stands there that have held up very well. The particle board in those is surprisingly much thicker, despite the fact that it needs to hold a lot less weight then a dresser.

Our horrible dresser

The thin particle board

Clothes shooting out the bottom of the dresser

My take away from this experience is this:

• You should buy good quality furniture, that is durable and will last long. Otherwise it is money down the drain, when it doesn't hold up!
• This rule is valid even when there are children in the mix. Don't think that you shouldn't buy nice things because children will ruin them, it's just the opposite. You should buy quality items, so they can withstand children.
•  If you can find quality, inexpensive furniture second hand don't pass up the opportunity even it has a few dings in it. It is a lot less money to refinish a table or a dresser then to buy a new one. 
• Always be safe when buying second hand, especially off of websites like craigs list. I talked to a few potential sellers on the phone, that I just didn't get a good feeling from. So we decided to opt out of those purchases. The couple we ended up buying our table from ended up living right down the street from the house I grew up in, although I had never met them. 
• If you don't find a great opportunity right away, give it some time. For example, use large plastic bins to hold your clothes, until the right deal comes your way. In the end this will save you money and time! In our case it would have saved us $250, plus the hassle of buying a dresser 2x!

What is your experience buying second hand, or would you prefer to buy brand new items?

Favorite Toddler Books

I love reading to my daughter, and I love it even more when she enjoys pointing and saying the words with me. Here is a list of books that I put together that seem to be easy to follow and have inviting pictures and messages.

No No Yes Yes by Leslie Patricelli

This book is a great one! It sets the building blocks for rules in the house. The "No No, Yes, Yes" words are easy for even a young baby to understand. The pictures are pretty cute too, and have my daughter laughing!

Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers

This might be my favorite book of all time. I have notice that toddlers tend to be so interested in babies and all the things that they do, and this book tells them everything they want to know! I think it would be really great to show to a toddler if a new baby is arriving soon. It would give them a better understanding of what to expect. We have read the book so many times that now my daughter finishes the words on each page for me!

The Color Kittens by Margaret Wise Brown

This book is a classic, and a good introduction to colors and art. It goes through each color and how the colors can be created using other colors.

Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton

This is another one that introduces colors to little ones. It is also a great launching point for teaching toddlers about articles of clothing and body parts. It's also a really silly book that makes everyone laugh.

The Bible for Little Ones- Maite Roche

What a great first Bible! The pictures are beautiful and eye catching. They use a lot of animals and bright colors, which help to keep my daughter engaged. The words are very simple and easy for her to understand. She is always asking questions, and knows most of the stories now.

Where's Dave by Emma Surry

This is a cute story for slightly older ones. It talks about safety and good habits. The book also keeps younger ones engaged because they are on a scavenger hunt to find Dave on every page. My only complaint about this book is the portal of the mom dinosaur is not a very good one (or accurate!). Otherwise its wonderful!

Children's Art Gallery

My daughter's room was starting to look a little bare as soon as we upgraded her to a big girl bed. Then I realized thats because she did not have ONE SINGLE THING on her walls in her room.

Then I realized my kitchen was covered from top to bottom in her art work. So I solved two problems in one!

I bought 5 solid wood frames from good will for $9. I took out the glass and painted them white.

Then I bought some rolled up cork for $8, with a 40% off coupon from hobby lobby. I ironed out the cork (yes with an iron), cut it to fit the frames and glued it to the backing of the frames.

After letting it dry, I displayed some of the art work with push pins.